Priorities II – The Ore

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

Theodore Roosevelt

Welcome to the second installation with the Righteous Way priorities, I’m walking through an alignment of priorities that the productively faithful should consider when gauging your efforts. Last week we covered the first of five priorities, The Transcendent – directing your highest priority above so everything below is well-ordered and designed with a purpose.

Our second stop when ordering our priorities comes to ourselves. I’ve settled this into the second tier despite the urge to place it lower in pursuit of selflessness. However, on one hand, it’s important to realize that we are instruments and that to be of service as an instrument, we must be formed. We can’t give what we don’t have. On the other, we are born into life and spend our formative years in singlehood. For the young and unsettled, singlehood can be made intentional in our preparation for our Vocational callings of serving our family, flock, or profession.

I love the imagery in Scripture of refining, “The refining pot is for silver the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests hearts,” (Proverbs 17:3), “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction,” (Isaiah 48:10), or the familiar “Iron sharpens iron,” (Proverbs 27:17). It’s part of the love letter from our Creator who knows us too well, our Blacksmith. We will be formed one way or another, so who is doing the formation in your life?

Raw Ore – We don’t come onto life, thankfully for our mothers, fully grown. We spend our early years in formation by our families, religions, schools, communities, and various inputs. Everyone is handed an experience to start with – some better than others. No matter the starting point, that isn’t the finished race. We eventually claim ownership over our life whether we’re ready or not. When we do, we pick up the reigns and start steering. What we start to determine for ourselves is how we’re going to spend our time, effort, and love moving from ownership to death. Maybe you are recognizing a need for redirection or you can state the moments when you set your feet and began your direction.

Heat & Hammer – You’re going to be formed one way or another in life – when we hear the call on our heart from Above, life looks much different. Life isn’t just about how we can pursue the next enjoyable moment or comfort zone, a way to wish away the hard times. But suffering in life can be formative in making us a more powerful instrument of service even in the face of evil. It’s a symptom of a fallen world. When we think “God, why did this happen to me? Don’t you love me?”, the answer is, without a doubt, He does. God walks with us even in the hardest of moments, He will not abandon us. But despite whatever we get hit with, we can see the goodness that can shine on the other side. When you take a 30,000-foot view of your life, you can see how hard moments may have struck you into something different than you were before, but how can you use that for good? How have you grown through even painful hits? Where did the heat of the moment reveal cracks that need to be healed in an even greater way? Just like iron, heat and hammer can bring out the impurity to make the ore strong. We are also generally shaped into what our purpose will be in this process, what capabilities and talents are grown in this?

Whetstone – After a blacksmith has hammered the instrument into what it’s going to be used for, it’s time to hone it, a more careful sharpening. When making a sword, a blacksmith will use a whetstone to create a sharp edge. It will smooth out the roughness and create a shine. In the same way, we get greater clarity for the purpose we have been designed for – maybe this is greater professional or educational training, a seasoning of confidence in dating, or a maturing of an idea. What do you see in your life as an advancing trait, skill, opportunity, or call?

The Sword – Insert any analogy you like – Maybe you’re not a sword, maybe you’re a hammer to form others. Maybe you see yourself as sickle for harvesting. Use your imagination. I like the image of a sword. I trained and competed for twelve years in fencing, I’m familiar with its usage, I know how it’s handled offensively and defensively in conjunction with the strategy of the game. I think in the same way I’m designed for proverbial battle. I see how my formation continues, but so does my usage. The analogy can certainly be used in many different directions, in some ways, we’re never done learning or being formed but at some point, you go from formation to use. Not everyone is a sword or a hammer or a whatever – everyone is formed for their own reason. When we allow ourselves to be formed and used as an instrument of our Creator, then it becomes very clear that we’ve been made to do remarkable things big and small.  

Pray for direction and take advantage of opportunities that come your way. Don’t fret the heat and hits in your life, embrace them and grow through them. Take account of your skills and ask, “What do you want me to do with these?” Lastly, don’t be afraid of failure and take action, there’s growth there too. Because we are formed by the Creator – our love, virtues, skills, and vision become selfless and geared for the service of our next priorities…


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Limitless

“All the clouds that use to look like cars now look like clouds.”

Maps and Atlases

I’m cheerleading our group of guys embarking on this year’s Exodus 90 journey with the ministry. For the uninitiated, it’s a powerful ninety days of prayer, fraternity, and asceticism while walking daily through the book of Exodus. For the hungry of heart – it’s a great road map to build your faith and discipline. Going through it three years in a row, I (but no more than Ani) was ready to give it a break. Each year since we’ve had leaders step up and take the helm with a fresh and hungry crew of guys.

There is something in the air this year that is getting me to go back to the disciplines we had hardily taken on. Not all of them, but I’m reintroducing a couple I found to be the most difficult at the time – not because I’m a glutton for punishment but because I’ve learned a lot about them since.

Concurrently with my contemplation of Exodus, I started watching Limitless with Chris Hemsworth on Disney+. It’s a series where Chris pursues healthier disciplines and explores lifestyle changes to test him and help him lead a longer life. The series isn’t too long and is aesthetically pleasing but two episodes, in particular, rang my bell – cold water and fasting, the two things that have been settling into my heart as the start day drew close.

Cold Showers – All three years of going through Exodus, this particular discipline had my number. I never enjoyed it. Never saw the benefit. Wussed out in some of those Buffalo cold-pipe January/February mornings with a twist of “just a little” warm to stop the pain. They just sucked.

I was introduced to a number of articles this past summer and then a guy named Wim Hof the Ice Man, dedicated to cold training and the positive impacts it has on your health and mindset. Bringing cold showers or baths into your life has a number of benefits. I started taking cold showers again this summer for a bit, which is really easy when it’s hot out but I did notice a change in my day – I had picked up more energy and a clearer mind later in the day. I also noticed a change in my inflammation management as my joints and guts recovered faster from my poor choice of eating wheat. I cooled off when fall rolled in and the water got cold. It was a bit of an experiment I wasn’t ready to commit to.

Chris’s challenge in this episode was to swim in open thirty-degree water in Scandinavia. Yea-no for me. But the training was interesting and could be downsized for the normal person.

Fasting – Hemsworth takes a number of these disciplines to the extreme with challenges that most people won’t attempt but the point isn’t to do an extreme challenge it’s to introduce the concepts in your own life. Chris makes a four-day fast while being active. Knowing I struggle with 24-hour fasts before bloodwork, I couldn’t imagine 96. Plenty of science and benefits to it which is great but the thing the show doesn’t go into is the faithful importance of fasting as a prayer. We’re so used to having food at our disposal, we can eat and snack whenever we want. We don’t usually go hungry. It’s easy to say, “I’m starving!” and have no idea what that feels like. Knowing hunger reminds us and our souls of the hunger we should have for something greater. When you fast, you’re lifting up that discomfort and pain as an offering to God and saying no to something so natural for a time for the supernatural.  

The building block of discipline required for fasting and training yourself for cold overrides our cravings in our body and crosses a number of paths – spiritually, romantically, physically, and mentally. I haven’t done anything bigger than a 24-hour fast yet or jumped in one of the Wim ice baths, but maybe someday. But for now, I’m reclaiming a number of disciplines I had left behind with a new set of eyes and a new hunger for growth.  While you’ll have to approach Limitless with a grain of salt, it’s well worth the watch. Perhaps you’ll find some nuggets that inspire you to action as well.

What are your thoughts on the conversation?


I love sharing insights and reflections for the faithfully productive – this article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Merry Christmas from the Jarosz’s

“Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.”

G.K. Chesterton

I’m profoundly blessed in life to be able to pursue the things of my heart starting with my relationship with God which has led to starting a family all the while growing in skill and opportunity. I’m thankful for this journey. I’m thankful for you who continue to follow along and keep your dreaming and doing in front of you.

What’s great about this season is that as a reflection of what it is – the arrival of God made man for the purpose of bringing us Home, that’s the real gift. All the dreamings and doings are fruitless if we don’t recognize that this is what life is all about, the Incarnation and Jesus stepping in. Christmastide is a great time to count the blessings in the right order. Go to church, lead your family’s prayer at dinner, read the gospel accounts of the Nativity, offer a prayer of thanksgiving by the tree – many ways to do so.

Let this be a season of gratitude for us, the Righteous, to let our work flow from that starting point. Very quickly after we enter the Christmas season we’re into the next year. What a way to prime the changing of the calendar. There is grace in gratitude. Fruits come from grace. Let us take the time to soak it up and lean into the coming days of our Lord’s birth.

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!


I love sharing insights and reflections for the faithfully productive – this article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Time Out: Defend the Family

“I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.” 

J.R.R. Tolkien

It’s essential to follow along with the Culture Wars for a number of reasons, protecting your family is among the top. We’re defenders of the family around these parts. 

I’m sure you’ve heard about the hullabaloo with the recent bill in Florida, “Parental Rights in Education,” or colloquially known as, “Don’t Say Gay” by media members. It boggles the mind that there are people and companies upset that there would be limits in the sand on when to teach sexuality – in this case, 3rd Grade and under. As often the case the chatter is distant and we go about our business.

This week struck home with a debate on Facebook, hearing radicals advocate for the sexual education of children in elementary and younger. At first, I watched it unfold, then engaged. Happily.

Seems silly and fruitless to do so on Facebook. But here we are. Meet them where they’re at.

I was giving a tubby to Izzy and Wyatt, 4 & 3, respectively – just about the age these radicals want to start talking about matters for adults. My kids were singing about beans and how they’re good for you. Innocence.

There are real failures happening in the culture today. Evil people want your kid’s minds and souls. Be aware and defend the family. The righteous men and women need to speak up and start making a pushback for values and against vice. Teach your kids well because no one has a greater interest than you.  

I’d love to hear from you – What are you doing to protect your family generally? If single, how are you engaging in culture now?

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


I love sharing insights and reflections for the faithfully productive – this article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Thanksgiving and Hospitality

“If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world.”

– J.R.R. Tolkien

Food is an incredible gift. The pilgrims thought so too when the Wampanoag Indians came to celebrate that first Thanksgiving after a hard 1621, bringing a variety of local foods from around Plymouth. While cooking is enjoyable and fun, hospitality runs far deeper by setting the tone for relationships and environment.

Food is a cornerstone of the concept of hospitality – it livens our spirits and opens the door for conversation and fellowship. Food is a universal language that everyone speaks. The idea of good food alone can activate our salivary glands. When you add in the other senses, it can recapture our attention. As you cook and prepare over the next day or so, keep in mind the power of food over you – when you crack the oven to temp the roasting turkey, set the Dutch apple pie on the cooling rack, and pour another rich Pino Noir.

There is a depth to culinary that I really enjoy. The pairings of complementary flavors and diverse ingredients enrich the experience and tantalize the taste buds. While food in itself is a topic you can drown in, what interests me more is the end for culinary and hospitality – which is to bring people together. This is the whole point of it all. It fits in so many settings like family, business, ministry, and various levels of leadership. It’s a mindset that is different from where society finds itself today with transactional quick-serves and unconnected social responses.

What hospitality contributes to is the slowing of our life to notice those across from you. It’s an openness to give and receive generously of time and attention. Thanksgiving is the perfect holiday to reconnect with this. It’s a day that isn’t caught up in anything other than presenting thanks for what we have and sharing a meal. The natives and pilgrims were worlds apart in culture but the common ground they found was over hospitality and generosity. Jesus, Himself broke bread with so many as an example to us, not for the sake of ingesting but of so much more.

How are you creating the opportunity in your sphere for relationships to develop through the lens of hospitality? How can you become more hospitable to the people you lead and serve? Do you make time to share this in your own home?

Lastly, I want to hear from you – what are you making this year for the Thanksgiving table? Or what is your favorite dish? I’m especially excited to be roasting sliced Brussels sprouts with a little sea salt, thyme, and olive oil.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I am thankful for all of you. Cheers to a great meal!

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


This article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb providing insights, reflections, and updates to help the faithfully productive dream, do, and be righteous. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco. Stay righteous!

Advent Reset

“The giver of every good and perfect gift has called upon us to mimic
His giving, by grace, through faith, and this is not of ourselves.”

St. Nicholas of Myra

I got halfway through writing this Climb when I thought better of it and started over. I’ve been rather critical of the cheap secularization of Christmas lately and was leaning into that for this edition however, prudence calls for peace in honor of the Prince of Peace. I’ll save the critique for another time.

I think another take comes from a moment I had two nights ago – we had brought up some of the Christmas gear and the kids were really excited about it. They wanted to help but really it was too much. Each box was opened and tossed around, fragile ornaments flipped and flopped, lots of giddy screaming, and to top it all off… all of the Christmas tree lights didn’t go on. All of them. I even checked other outlets, didn’t matter… tossed. What was it? One season? I put them away working, a year later all dead? So there I was.

Flustered.

But I recognized that I was losing patience and I took a deep breath. Time out. This is actually the dream for me. Our kids were excited about Christmas. This is such a small window. They’re growing quickly and I need to embrace the moments.

Advent is more than Christmas to-dos. After I took a long exhale and regrouped I changed my mind. We put a YouTube crackling fire on the TV and opened up some books and snuggled in. The kids smothered me on the floor as I read and Ani sat behind me on the couch while the soft electronic glow of the fire lit the room. Eventually, we tucked the kids in and settled in front of the TV fire again and had my pregnant wife fall asleep on my shoulder.

The dream.

Yesterday morning continued the graceful Advent moment where we continued the Advent reflections and prayer around the candles at breakfast. We read from a little devotional that might be a little over their heads but for the questions in it, their little answers were the same, “because Jesus loves us.”

That’s the answer, isn’t it? That’s the season. That’s Advent. Because Jesus loves us. It’s easy to be caught up in the preparation of it all. It can stress us out. Let’s take it another way. Embrace the moment. Because while Advent will return, we’ll never have another moment like the one we’re experiencing right now. A future Advent will have its turn, but this Advent is now. Embrace who and what is in front of you and dig into that with love. Why? “Because Jesus loves us,” (first).

Happy Advent Everyone!

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


I love sharing insights and reflections for the faithfully productive – this article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

When it hits the fan (or floor)

“When you fall down, focus on the solution, not the problem. You might quit or fail 100 times. Keep that clear picture of where you want to be.” 

David Goggins

I had just sat down earlier when an unnamed family member revealed the toilet was clogged. We’ve been there, we’ve handled such things. To the rim, but no overflow, great. I decided to let things, um settle. So I came back a little bit later and it was at a manageable level. Gave it a good plunge…

…and it comes back with vengeance. More than I anticipated. I haven’t sworn like that since I left the kitchens ten years ago. I’m sure you can picture it.

That’s not the worst of it. This was a second-floor affair.

As I’m running for more towels (I had exhausted my upstairs supply) I inform Ani of the situation – she was in the downstairs shower missing the excitement. I’ve never seen her laugh harder but she comes out in a towel to notice that the poop water was pouring from our ceiling dining room light onto the dining room table.  

It wasn’t a little.

We laughed through it. We’re laughing about it now. This is a story to tell later and we’ll laugh at it then too. 

So as I’m reminded… When it hits the fan and goes sideways – at home or on the job, take a deep breath, do what you have to do, and don’t crush the people around you. The mess is a moment but your response can be forever.

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


This article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Losses

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.”

– Amelia Earhart

This is a follow-up to last week’s Climb on victories.

An early thing to learn in life is how to take a loss. It happens to the best of us. Losses hurt and even burn deeply when the stakes are high. You don’t always win. And no, you shouldn’t get a prize for losing. It’s life and there is no reward for such a thing. We’re disservicing kids in the gentle attempts of the school years to make everyone a winner. It doesn’t prepare them for the realities of life.

Learning how to take a loss is much more than keeping your head high and not feeling bad. A loss can even teach much more than a victory. This isn’t just a sports lesson, this is a leadership lesson.

Basic Level Loss – I’m sure the first lessons in taking a loss started with my dad and were reinforced time and again through various coaches I’ve had in sports as I’ve grown. The early lesson is not to be a “sore loser”. If you’ve been bested, don’t throw yourself on the ground and pout. Stand tall, shake the hands of your opponent, and keep your chin high – “you’ll get them next time.”

Not so easy sometimes growing up, or now.

Next Level Loss – is to ace the above but to go deeper inside yourself. I’m going to divide this into two fronts – lessons and energy.

Lessons – The basic loss level deals with how you’re saving face but does little to learn and apply to the next challenge. When wins and losses become lessons you’ll never really lose again. Now everything has a value to be applied forward. I’m not saying that you should hope for a loss in sport, work, or competition. Of course, a win in your scenario is what you want to achieve (remember the prize obtained ie. win, promotion, goal obtained), but if you lost, apply the tactical lessons ahead. For example, what did you learn about your adversary or environment? How does that impact your planning and moves? What repetitions or practice do you need to implement? Maybe the goals need to change.

Whoever can make adjustments for the next round, whatever a round looks like for you, is going to be much more likely to succeed. Sometimes small adjustments to get you across the finish line. Other times, you need to scrap it all and start over. Having outside perspectives or coaching helps with this.

Energy – A loss can sap your confidence if you let it, especially when it’s public or in front of people you know, work with, and lead. It can be deflating or can stir up rage as seen by Ken Dorsey from the Bills this past week here.

When you take a loss or defeat, it can have a variety of emotions like frustration, anger, and jealousy. Not helpful – you’ll need to practice humility and patience. But. That passion can be diverted to something more positive like determination and dedication. Sometimes a loss can sit and simmer, driving you harder for the next go.

But it’s all a choice in the end and practice makes perfect. It’s better to ask yourself ahead of time, how do I handle losses when they come my way and how do I want to use them to grow from?

Here’s to your next win and loss!

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


This article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Victories

“The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but no vision.”

Helen Keller

How often do you celebrate victory in your life? Or even yet, just recognize it? I don’t mean being grand or pompous about it but just giving justice to those moments when you’ve overcome and accomplished. Big or small.

We live in a world where victory is out of sorts from both directions – either it is showboated and strutted around or we give it no due because maybe it just wasn’t good enough or “nobody cares,” or maybe the most potent… “it’s not as good as the next guy,”…

Using the cardinal virtue of temperance is a good key to gauging our victories. Temperance puts us in the golden middle of responses. Are we coming off too hot? Are we lackadaisical? Surely you don’t want to be a poor sport in victory or defeat but don’t undersell a victory either. Celebrating or recognizing is a way of encouraging us along the way, and when you humbly share with others (and let them share as well,) it breaks the self-defeating ideas that can keep us under a dark blanket. It could be as simple as giving thanks in prayer to toasting a victory with your team at an outing.

If you can claim little victories, you can see that you can claim big ones as well. One step to the next. When defeats come, and they will, count them too and learn but then get back to collecting victories. This builds momentum and can get you out of places where you feel stuck.

Something I do with our team just after our prayer in YM staff meetings is to share a victory from the week. Could be anything small or big but there is always a win to be counted in our lives. We can learn from both.

Wins and losses can both be blessings but losses are for another time.


This article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

There and Back Again

“The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page.”

St. Augustine

What a journey – the second Iron Ore Men’s Retreat is in the books. Battles are fought in life and there are things that will seek your abdication of great things for comfort. This is the story of Iron Ore. We’re formed through tough stuff, for tough stuff.

This year has been a struggle in many ways and when it came to IO: Algonquin, I limped my way into it. I just needed more time, more energy. After the depleting success of the YouCon conference in ministry, I was staring at IO, spent.

But here’s the thing. When we do what is given to us faithfully, God provides the rest. Every yes, no, maybe, and yes-then-nos, or no-then-yeses all along the way provide exactly what the Lord has intended.

The Wild Six gathered in the Adirondacks with a familiarity of brothers, not strangers. We set up camp in the rain and enjoyed dinner and our opening session at the beautiful Whiteface Lodge. We set the pace of the experience by reflecting next to a large granite fireplace – drawing upon the story of Moses staring upon the mountain where the Lord descended in His theophany.

The next day, up and at it early, we went to the trailhead. You can smell the rich evergreens and foliage with every breath. It was a long day, over eleven hours there and back. Some of us as old pros on the trail and some of us brand new to the experience. One gentleman trained for seven months in preparation for this, he had never taken on such a challenge, but his trainer pushed him to get ready for one of the more challenging ascents in the New York High Peaks.

Well, we all worked hard. We made it to one of the most spectacular views I’ve seen in my life. I’ll put it right up there in the pantheon of vistas I’ve seen – Denver Rockies, Grand Canyon, Zion National Park, castle top view of Assisi. 5,114 ft at the top.

After a tough ascent with stretches that you’re climbing on bald rock with three-point contact, you’re refreshed by the cool alpine air and the stunning 365º scenery. We celebrated. We rested. We shared in a session right on the peak, now reflecting on the Transfiguration and our life’s journeys.

What goes up must come down. After fueling up, we made our way down the slow and grueling descent to where we started. It took longer going down, working a new set of muscles and pressure points but not helped by the exhausted set that got us up.

No matter. We made it there and back again, alive and capable. We did that. There were no shortcuts. Just tough, gritty work blessed by the Lord’s hands. If we can do that in the setting of granite and sap, we can certainly do it among paper and screens.

For myself, I found some clarity on what the next stage of RCO looks like.

Next stop, the tallest – Mt. Marcy August 25-27, 2023. Early Bird registration is now open!

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


This article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.