Priorities II – The Ore

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”

Theodore Roosevelt

Welcome to the second installation with the Righteous Way priorities, I’m walking through an alignment of priorities that the productively faithful should consider when gauging your efforts. Last week we covered the first of five priorities, The Transcendent – directing your highest priority above so everything below is well-ordered and designed with a purpose.

Our second stop when ordering our priorities comes to ourselves. I’ve settled this into the second tier despite the urge to place it lower in pursuit of selflessness. However, on one hand, it’s important to realize that we are instruments and that to be of service as an instrument, we must be formed. We can’t give what we don’t have. On the other, we are born into life and spend our formative years in singlehood. For the young and unsettled, singlehood can be made intentional in our preparation for our Vocational callings of serving our family, flock, or profession.

I love the imagery in Scripture of refining, “The refining pot is for silver the furnace for gold, but the Lord tests hearts,” (Proverbs 17:3), “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction,” (Isaiah 48:10), or the familiar “Iron sharpens iron,” (Proverbs 27:17). It’s part of the love letter from our Creator who knows us too well, our Blacksmith. We will be formed one way or another, so who is doing the formation in your life?

Raw Ore – We don’t come onto life, thankfully for our mothers, fully grown. We spend our early years in formation by our families, religions, schools, communities, and various inputs. Everyone is handed an experience to start with – some better than others. No matter the starting point, that isn’t the finished race. We eventually claim ownership over our life whether we’re ready or not. When we do, we pick up the reigns and start steering. What we start to determine for ourselves is how we’re going to spend our time, effort, and love moving from ownership to death. Maybe you are recognizing a need for redirection or you can state the moments when you set your feet and began your direction.

Heat & Hammer – You’re going to be formed one way or another in life – when we hear the call on our heart from Above, life looks much different. Life isn’t just about how we can pursue the next enjoyable moment or comfort zone, a way to wish away the hard times. But suffering in life can be formative in making us a more powerful instrument of service even in the face of evil. It’s a symptom of a fallen world. When we think “God, why did this happen to me? Don’t you love me?”, the answer is, without a doubt, He does. God walks with us even in the hardest of moments, He will not abandon us. But despite whatever we get hit with, we can see the goodness that can shine on the other side. When you take a 30,000-foot view of your life, you can see how hard moments may have struck you into something different than you were before, but how can you use that for good? How have you grown through even painful hits? Where did the heat of the moment reveal cracks that need to be healed in an even greater way? Just like iron, heat and hammer can bring out the impurity to make the ore strong. We are also generally shaped into what our purpose will be in this process, what capabilities and talents are grown in this?

Whetstone – After a blacksmith has hammered the instrument into what it’s going to be used for, it’s time to hone it, a more careful sharpening. When making a sword, a blacksmith will use a whetstone to create a sharp edge. It will smooth out the roughness and create a shine. In the same way, we get greater clarity for the purpose we have been designed for – maybe this is greater professional or educational training, a seasoning of confidence in dating, or a maturing of an idea. What do you see in your life as an advancing trait, skill, opportunity, or call?

The Sword – Insert any analogy you like – Maybe you’re not a sword, maybe you’re a hammer to form others. Maybe you see yourself as sickle for harvesting. Use your imagination. I like the image of a sword. I trained and competed for twelve years in fencing, I’m familiar with its usage, I know how it’s handled offensively and defensively in conjunction with the strategy of the game. I think in the same way I’m designed for proverbial battle. I see how my formation continues, but so does my usage. The analogy can certainly be used in many different directions, in some ways, we’re never done learning or being formed but at some point, you go from formation to use. Not everyone is a sword or a hammer or a whatever – everyone is formed for their own reason. When we allow ourselves to be formed and used as an instrument of our Creator, then it becomes very clear that we’ve been made to do remarkable things big and small.  

Pray for direction and take advantage of opportunities that come your way. Don’t fret the heat and hits in your life, embrace them and grow through them. Take account of your skills and ask, “What do you want me to do with these?” Lastly, don’t be afraid of failure and take action, there’s growth there too. Because we are formed by the Creator – our love, virtues, skills, and vision become selfless and geared for the service of our next priorities…


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Limitless

“All the clouds that use to look like cars now look like clouds.”

Maps and Atlases

I’m cheerleading our group of guys embarking on this year’s Exodus 90 journey with the ministry. For the uninitiated, it’s a powerful ninety days of prayer, fraternity, and asceticism while walking daily through the book of Exodus. For the hungry of heart – it’s a great road map to build your faith and discipline. Going through it three years in a row, I (but no more than Ani) was ready to give it a break. Each year since we’ve had leaders step up and take the helm with a fresh and hungry crew of guys.

There is something in the air this year that is getting me to go back to the disciplines we had hardily taken on. Not all of them, but I’m reintroducing a couple I found to be the most difficult at the time – not because I’m a glutton for punishment but because I’ve learned a lot about them since.

Concurrently with my contemplation of Exodus, I started watching Limitless with Chris Hemsworth on Disney+. It’s a series where Chris pursues healthier disciplines and explores lifestyle changes to test him and help him lead a longer life. The series isn’t too long and is aesthetically pleasing but two episodes, in particular, rang my bell – cold water and fasting, the two things that have been settling into my heart as the start day drew close.

Cold Showers – All three years of going through Exodus, this particular discipline had my number. I never enjoyed it. Never saw the benefit. Wussed out in some of those Buffalo cold-pipe January/February mornings with a twist of “just a little” warm to stop the pain. They just sucked.

I was introduced to a number of articles this past summer and then a guy named Wim Hof the Ice Man, dedicated to cold training and the positive impacts it has on your health and mindset. Bringing cold showers or baths into your life has a number of benefits. I started taking cold showers again this summer for a bit, which is really easy when it’s hot out but I did notice a change in my day – I had picked up more energy and a clearer mind later in the day. I also noticed a change in my inflammation management as my joints and guts recovered faster from my poor choice of eating wheat. I cooled off when fall rolled in and the water got cold. It was a bit of an experiment I wasn’t ready to commit to.

Chris’s challenge in this episode was to swim in open thirty-degree water in Scandinavia. Yea-no for me. But the training was interesting and could be downsized for the normal person.

Fasting – Hemsworth takes a number of these disciplines to the extreme with challenges that most people won’t attempt but the point isn’t to do an extreme challenge it’s to introduce the concepts in your own life. Chris makes a four-day fast while being active. Knowing I struggle with 24-hour fasts before bloodwork, I couldn’t imagine 96. Plenty of science and benefits to it which is great but the thing the show doesn’t go into is the faithful importance of fasting as a prayer. We’re so used to having food at our disposal, we can eat and snack whenever we want. We don’t usually go hungry. It’s easy to say, “I’m starving!” and have no idea what that feels like. Knowing hunger reminds us and our souls of the hunger we should have for something greater. When you fast, you’re lifting up that discomfort and pain as an offering to God and saying no to something so natural for a time for the supernatural.  

The building block of discipline required for fasting and training yourself for cold overrides our cravings in our body and crosses a number of paths – spiritually, romantically, physically, and mentally. I haven’t done anything bigger than a 24-hour fast yet or jumped in one of the Wim ice baths, but maybe someday. But for now, I’m reclaiming a number of disciplines I had left behind with a new set of eyes and a new hunger for growth.  While you’ll have to approach Limitless with a grain of salt, it’s well worth the watch. Perhaps you’ll find some nuggets that inspire you to action as well.

What are your thoughts on the conversation?


I love sharing insights and reflections for the faithfully productive – this article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Merry Christmas from the Jarosz’s

“Christmas is built upon a beautiful and intentional paradox; that the birth of the homeless should be celebrated in every home.”

G.K. Chesterton

I’m profoundly blessed in life to be able to pursue the things of my heart starting with my relationship with God which has led to starting a family all the while growing in skill and opportunity. I’m thankful for this journey. I’m thankful for you who continue to follow along and keep your dreaming and doing in front of you.

What’s great about this season is that as a reflection of what it is – the arrival of God made man for the purpose of bringing us Home, that’s the real gift. All the dreamings and doings are fruitless if we don’t recognize that this is what life is all about, the Incarnation and Jesus stepping in. Christmastide is a great time to count the blessings in the right order. Go to church, lead your family’s prayer at dinner, read the gospel accounts of the Nativity, offer a prayer of thanksgiving by the tree – many ways to do so.

Let this be a season of gratitude for us, the Righteous, to let our work flow from that starting point. Very quickly after we enter the Christmas season we’re into the next year. What a way to prime the changing of the calendar. There is grace in gratitude. Fruits come from grace. Let us take the time to soak it up and lean into the coming days of our Lord’s birth.

From our family to yours, Merry Christmas!


I love sharing insights and reflections for the faithfully productive – this article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Sad News: A Witness

“For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day.”

– Jesus of Nazareth (Jn 6:40)

The score is even – three Jarosz babies here, three in Heaven.

We found out that our expectant baby’s heart had stopped yesterday. It’s especially hard because we lost another at the beginning of September. While we are broken-hearted we are people of hope. That’s the thing about love and loss as the faithful – whatever comes our way in life we know we’re in Good hands.

We’ll see our babies again in eternity and it is a reason for joy. While I’ll miss the dirty diapers, paying for college, and walking down the aisle – a greater and longer time will be had later in Glory. It’ll be something to see them on that day, Lord willing. I suppose they’ll have a greater education in Heaven than anything they’ll get here with Jesus raising them. All of our babies are well-loved in our hearts and while it doesn’t get easier the more it happens, there is peace in knowing they are reserved for Sainthood.

While it’s painful to share, especially since we had just started announcing as we’ve come out of the first trimester, we’re open to being a witness to life. Life is precious no matter how far along or small those little ones are. Walking the vocation as a co-creator comes with its risks – a risk to receive, a risk to love, a risk to provide, and a risk to lose. For whatever reason that our journey includes this path our response mirrors the Immaculate, “my soul proclaims the Greatness of the Lord.”

May whoever reads this and mourns, know you’re not alone and there is reason to hope. Marisol, Francisco John, & Lucia – pray for us.

Adam & Ani

Time Out: Defend the Family

“I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.” 

J.R.R. Tolkien

It’s essential to follow along with the Culture Wars for a number of reasons, protecting your family is among the top. We’re defenders of the family around these parts. 

I’m sure you’ve heard about the hullabaloo with the recent bill in Florida, “Parental Rights in Education,” or colloquially known as, “Don’t Say Gay” by media members. It boggles the mind that there are people and companies upset that there would be limits in the sand on when to teach sexuality – in this case, 3rd Grade and under. As often the case the chatter is distant and we go about our business.

This week struck home with a debate on Facebook, hearing radicals advocate for the sexual education of children in elementary and younger. At first, I watched it unfold, then engaged. Happily.

Seems silly and fruitless to do so on Facebook. But here we are. Meet them where they’re at.

I was giving a tubby to Izzy and Wyatt, 4 & 3, respectively – just about the age these radicals want to start talking about matters for adults. My kids were singing about beans and how they’re good for you. Innocence.

There are real failures happening in the culture today. Evil people want your kid’s minds and souls. Be aware and defend the family. The righteous men and women need to speak up and start making a pushback for values and against vice. Teach your kids well because no one has a greater interest than you.  

I’d love to hear from you – What are you doing to protect your family generally? If single, how are you engaging in culture now?

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


I love sharing insights and reflections for the faithfully productive – this article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Iterations – Labor & Life

“An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail.”

Dr. Edwin Land

There is a myth. It’s called perfection. Many people chase it – many more don’t move because of it.

I am definitely not a perfectionist. I believe in excellence but perfection is a mirage. When you pursue excellence, you’re giving the best you can toward something, accepting it, and learning toward the next iteration. Perfection is the need for flawlessness and it can be haunting.

Here is why I pursue excellence – you’ll never be perfect in this life. Perfection is needing to get a 100%, every time. You can’t maintain that indefinitely. When you fall short of perfection, you’ll have the added angst of beating yourself up unfairly.

An important trait of excellence is iteration, starting in one place but improving upon it for the next round of efforts. After you’ve learned lessons and received feedback, you move on to the next iteration and so on. It’s never perfect and actually quite gritty but before long, you can look back and see you’ve made progress from where you’ve started. Oftentimes, it’s an education no class can teach you.

This is my work philosophy with Righteous Co. and in pursuit of excellence, I find myself at the start of iteration III. 2023 is going to be an excellent year. I’ve further refined/honed my mission and market. With that comes new offerings and in some cases, withdrawals. Each iteration up to this point has been hard-fought while working full-time and growing a family. We keep moving forward.

If you find yourself in the category of beating yourself up because you’ve fallen short or haven’t started because it just isn’t right yet, consider this other way. Just get started and do your best. Of course, you’ll fall. That’s part of it. It won’t be perfect and at times you’ll feel embarrassed, it’s ok. Because the next iteration will be better. You have something on the heart, don’t let perfection get in the way.

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


I love sharing insights and reflections for the faithfully productive – this article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

When it hits the fan (or floor)

“When you fall down, focus on the solution, not the problem. You might quit or fail 100 times. Keep that clear picture of where you want to be.” 

David Goggins

I had just sat down earlier when an unnamed family member revealed the toilet was clogged. We’ve been there, we’ve handled such things. To the rim, but no overflow, great. I decided to let things, um settle. So I came back a little bit later and it was at a manageable level. Gave it a good plunge…

…and it comes back with vengeance. More than I anticipated. I haven’t sworn like that since I left the kitchens ten years ago. I’m sure you can picture it.

That’s not the worst of it. This was a second-floor affair.

As I’m running for more towels (I had exhausted my upstairs supply) I inform Ani of the situation – she was in the downstairs shower missing the excitement. I’ve never seen her laugh harder but she comes out in a towel to notice that the poop water was pouring from our ceiling dining room light onto the dining room table.  

It wasn’t a little.

We laughed through it. We’re laughing about it now. This is a story to tell later and we’ll laugh at it then too. 

So as I’m reminded… When it hits the fan and goes sideways – at home or on the job, take a deep breath, do what you have to do, and don’t crush the people around you. The mess is a moment but your response can be forever.

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


This article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Losses

“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.”

– Amelia Earhart

This is a follow-up to last week’s Climb on victories.

An early thing to learn in life is how to take a loss. It happens to the best of us. Losses hurt and even burn deeply when the stakes are high. You don’t always win. And no, you shouldn’t get a prize for losing. It’s life and there is no reward for such a thing. We’re disservicing kids in the gentle attempts of the school years to make everyone a winner. It doesn’t prepare them for the realities of life.

Learning how to take a loss is much more than keeping your head high and not feeling bad. A loss can even teach much more than a victory. This isn’t just a sports lesson, this is a leadership lesson.

Basic Level Loss – I’m sure the first lessons in taking a loss started with my dad and were reinforced time and again through various coaches I’ve had in sports as I’ve grown. The early lesson is not to be a “sore loser”. If you’ve been bested, don’t throw yourself on the ground and pout. Stand tall, shake the hands of your opponent, and keep your chin high – “you’ll get them next time.”

Not so easy sometimes growing up, or now.

Next Level Loss – is to ace the above but to go deeper inside yourself. I’m going to divide this into two fronts – lessons and energy.

Lessons – The basic loss level deals with how you’re saving face but does little to learn and apply to the next challenge. When wins and losses become lessons you’ll never really lose again. Now everything has a value to be applied forward. I’m not saying that you should hope for a loss in sport, work, or competition. Of course, a win in your scenario is what you want to achieve (remember the prize obtained ie. win, promotion, goal obtained), but if you lost, apply the tactical lessons ahead. For example, what did you learn about your adversary or environment? How does that impact your planning and moves? What repetitions or practice do you need to implement? Maybe the goals need to change.

Whoever can make adjustments for the next round, whatever a round looks like for you, is going to be much more likely to succeed. Sometimes small adjustments to get you across the finish line. Other times, you need to scrap it all and start over. Having outside perspectives or coaching helps with this.

Energy – A loss can sap your confidence if you let it, especially when it’s public or in front of people you know, work with, and lead. It can be deflating or can stir up rage as seen by Ken Dorsey from the Bills this past week here.

When you take a loss or defeat, it can have a variety of emotions like frustration, anger, and jealousy. Not helpful – you’ll need to practice humility and patience. But. That passion can be diverted to something more positive like determination and dedication. Sometimes a loss can sit and simmer, driving you harder for the next go.

But it’s all a choice in the end and practice makes perfect. It’s better to ask yourself ahead of time, how do I handle losses when they come my way and how do I want to use them to grow from?

Here’s to your next win and loss!

— Adam Jarosz

Founder/Leadership Coach

Righteous Co.


This article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Victories

“The most pathetic person in the world is someone who has sight but no vision.”

Helen Keller

How often do you celebrate victory in your life? Or even yet, just recognize it? I don’t mean being grand or pompous about it but just giving justice to those moments when you’ve overcome and accomplished. Big or small.

We live in a world where victory is out of sorts from both directions – either it is showboated and strutted around or we give it no due because maybe it just wasn’t good enough or “nobody cares,” or maybe the most potent… “it’s not as good as the next guy,”…

Using the cardinal virtue of temperance is a good key to gauging our victories. Temperance puts us in the golden middle of responses. Are we coming off too hot? Are we lackadaisical? Surely you don’t want to be a poor sport in victory or defeat but don’t undersell a victory either. Celebrating or recognizing is a way of encouraging us along the way, and when you humbly share with others (and let them share as well,) it breaks the self-defeating ideas that can keep us under a dark blanket. It could be as simple as giving thanks in prayer to toasting a victory with your team at an outing.

If you can claim little victories, you can see that you can claim big ones as well. One step to the next. When defeats come, and they will, count them too and learn but then get back to collecting victories. This builds momentum and can get you out of places where you feel stuck.

Something I do with our team just after our prayer in YM staff meetings is to share a victory from the week. Could be anything small or big but there is always a win to be counted in our lives. We can learn from both.

Wins and losses can both be blessings but losses are for another time.


This article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.

Do. Greatness.

“Idleness is the enemy of the soul.”

St. Benedict

Have you realized that you were made for great things? I was on retreat years ago where the speaker quoted Pope Benedict XVI, “The world offers you comfort, but you were not made for comfort, you were made for greatness.” That quote struck a nerve in me. Rang a bell. Lit a fire. Name an inspirational figure of speech and this was it. 

One of the things I know I’ve been blessed with is a super-active imagination. I daydream a lot. Always have. My night dreams are active too, I share them with Ani often. The thing is, I never knew what to do with them. I didn’t know I could do something with what was going on in my head. 

Step by step though, I realized that the things put on my heart and head could have been designed if I applied draft and action to them. Realistic pacing and patience were other things I had to learn (still am). How to handle a flood of ideas, sift through to manageable, and put realistic timelines on everything became a lesson in turning dreams to doings. Not everything needs to happen right away but what is the long game?

You have great things on your mind and heart. That greatness isn’t the “worldly greatness” but one of the Lord. That’s different. It’s life-giving. What dream do you need to breathe life into with action? What do you need to commit to right now? What do you need to do

As important, what do you need to say “no” to?


This article is from Righteous Co.’s weekly newsletter, The Climb. If you want to see content like this and more, subscribe here to get The Climb right in your email box, every Righteous Wednesday. You can also follow along on Instagram @righteousco.